I don't know if "Nerd-dom" is a word but I am in the mood for being a word craftsperson; grabbing the english language and giving it a shake.
I’m a poet and like to think of how meaning is made by words that mogrify, a that actively dis-order, having a chop-up-ability to make a new word. I am sure there is a word for chop-up-ability which is way out of my reach at the moment.
I am doing this post, writing it to get started, because I am on the spectrum of dyslexia, I am a compulsive perfectionist and I am nervous to begin sharing the writing of my inner-world - which is what I imagine this substack will be - so if I don’t do this now, I probably won’t ever.
Doing The Thing
Today, I am breaking the back of cold fear I have of making astute and basic entrepreneurial moves - starting a Substack and a podcast. These are great business moves. I did the research,… and it is liberating to type this.
If you know me you might find it hard to believe that, although I have a 30 year career in poetry, spoken word and as project make and educator….I AM INCREDIBLY SHY!
I’m not shouting..
Although this I how loud I hear shyness in my head. #IntrovertedExtrovert, more on this later I reckon.
I am a compulsive planner. I love planner books, watch YouTubevideos of people who plan their lives meticulously; love all the Apps that make ‘to-do’ lists, broken down into micro-particles, looking ordered and ready to go… And then they just don’t get gone. That is not a typo. “Why is this list still here?” Be gone to-do list!
I question if it is procrastination or I should be in another job doing nothing but data input. No. I have too much imagination, verging on escapism for that.
Astrology
What I know is that being loud about promoting myself has been a battle. I have looked into my astrology about it, because although I am a Gemini with a Neptunian urge to deep dive into ‘all the information’, I tend to want to make sure I have all the information a thousand times over before for I press ‘publish’ or ‘submit’.
I am an avid astrology student. It supports my tarot practice, which I had to put to sleep for a while, because of my tendency to immerse and not reappear for a looog while. Plus I had so much other work to do. I am grateful though, for what the tarot and oracle card learning has taught me about intuition and experience.
You can find me on Instagram & TikTok handle: @poets_tarot_corner.
Astrology has taken me toward an existential conversation with the earth and my project Nature Persists holds a tiny corner of the internet www.naturepersists.com
This is where I smoothly segue into the podcast I created to day which is more of a trailer to the podcast, I’m creating on Spotify and sharing here on Substack.
I may or may not be a complete nerd but I feel like one, and everyday I being to feel like I look like one. And there is no judgement. I enjoy reading while I walk and knowing things that are random bit so flotsam information, just for the sake of knowing; I am an information hoarder and it feel more natural for me write than to talk sometimes.
What I want is to be able to release the words I have quietly hoarded. Free words. Be free, Words. Words for Free. Word Free and silent in my mind for a while…
So, these are my first thoughts about inviting myself to be a writer who shares on a regular basis on a platform that is not my website.
If you would like to subscribe this early on my journey? Sweet! And thank you.
If you would like to hang back for a bit, trust the Substack algorithms will pass my posts on your timeline, then also, Sweet!
This is it. This is doing it; doing what I never thought you would.
~Z~